A Letter to My Source

Creator God, three in one, You are my source.  Even before I knew you, you were there. I am grateful that you set me on a road to spiritual transformation at age 18. I know you differently now, more fully, and yet am sure of less as the mystery becomes larger. You teach me “upside down” concepts that I may walk a path of love. They each seem to contain paradox: ‘Die to live’, ‘beauty from ashes’, ‘surrender to be free’, ‘peace in chaos’, ‘choose love when wronged,’ ‘worthiness is bestowed—not earned’, ‘leading is serving’, and so many more.

There’s no way for anyone to know how you have kept me alive. You wanted to join me on the road, to listen to my story, to speak to me in heart languages I didn’t even know that I had, and you have kept me moving toward a new story of peace and joy. You have always been Beauty and Love to me. You show yourself through all my senses, through caring friends, through writers that speak so clearly to my heart and mind, and in moments of grace where I catch a glimpse of the Really Real. You want me to be free. Your water falls over me when I am immersed in the natural world in awe or when I’m holding small children or sitting quietly. I feel like I’m holding hands with you when I’m creating.

You are coming alive to me in a new way as the Feminine is called forth to lead in a different way from this world’s system. I’m reminded that I am made in your image as feminine as well as masculine and that it’s all a circle dance and not a hierarchy. When I was first stirred toward equality for women in the 70’s, you were showing me a better way for both men and women to fully operate in their giftings and support one another. I have moved away from patriarchal structures, and yet am committed to You and my faith community. Help me to use exploration and transformation through creativity and contemplation to bring healing and connection with you and each other. Give me courage to point out where dignity is not yet restored, where there is abuse and where voices are not heard or valued. My heart is especially for women, for full equality, freedom to be who you made them to be, with full expression and empowerment to bring their gifts of healing to the world.

Mary is a new divine symbol to me in reverence. This exploration of Mary and what she is coming to mean to me is exciting. Pondering Mary Magdalene as archetype, and thinking of my own grandmothers back through the ages as wisdom keepers, are gifts from You. I am open to receiving all that you have for me, as surprising as it may be! I seek your guidance, Spirit, and rest in your Presence as close to me as my breath. I rely on you as Source for each day of life, and for each experience of creating that I am blessed to enter into. You show me my Muse, you show me my soul voice. Let’s create together.

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Originally posted March 29, 2017

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One thought on “A Letter to My Source

  1. Jennifer, I witness your heartfelt letter. I find it wondrous that there is always something new being offered, revealed along this path. I’ve been exploring the Mystery through the lense of the Divine Feminine for awhile now, and while of course the Mystery has no gender, parts of myself have been opened up by pondering that I, as woman, am made in the image and likeness of . . . . wonder! This year has been the first year of my exploring Mary Magdalene’s wisdom, and I recently painted and wrote about her on my own blog: http://www.catcharissage.com

    Like

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